Gelatomassi

262 King Street, Newtown

Apparently: from all hours of the day to all hours of the night

Put the paintbrush down. There is no time for shaving your moustache. This is not the time to feed the hamsters. Come with me now, on a journey through time and space. Come with me now, to the land of wondrous rolling mountains of nutty creaminess, fruity lusciousness...and plains of white platters. Take your serve to a cone. A waffle cone, to be exact!

Gelato is a staple. Just like the Koreans have their rice, the Italians have their pasta and the Russians have their Vodka, I can has my gelato. Having refined the palate for some years, I know a good gelato when I taste one. Gelatomassi produces flavours that have just the right consistency and textures, they use actual ingredients so the colours are gorgeously natural, and they just taste good!

It was this particular night that there were, with chance, four of us to spare. What a perfect number for a plate of eight flavours! ...despite this convenience, we all know that one of us could quite easily consume it by their lonesome. Say no more... What I will expand on, though, are the flavours. After some deliberation (come on! 'tis to be expected with the amount of choices!) it was decided that the line of eight would consist of the following: Apple, deliciously tart; Ferrero Rocher chocolate, smooth and dark; panna cotta, a light complimentary flavour that always pleases; coconut, rich and velvety; apple crumble, creamed-down tang with crunchiness; strawberry and cream, previously untried but proved to delight with its yoghurty background; pistachio, a heavy competitor in many of this city's (and other's too!) top gelaterias (NB: among other things, this and hazelnut are the base flavours in my assessment criteria...it's complicated!); and, I think, nougat! SUPERTASTERNAUT. Not only does this let you try many flavours at once, it also allows for combination of flavours - who woulda thunk it!? Par exemple: did you know that apple and coconut make for some refreshing fun? Similarly, a strawberry and cream covered apple crumble bite can send squeals of delight into a grown man's oesophagus? Try it. Nevertheless, the gelato here is invariably sweet without being sickly, tasty whilst still retaining the extraordinary naturalness of each of it's individual flavours, and just all 'round super. C'est super cool, even!
Apart from such authenticity in the area of munchity yum, the service here is the typical friendliness of Italians. The owner is an absolute character, maybe one of an acquired taste in his manner of serving, but, at the heart, a guy who genuinely wants his product to be adored and consumed with appreciation; his employees are usually equally as cheerful to deal with aswell, which is nice. Welcoming to the utmost, whether you come for a quick morning fix before classes (ah, these are the days), afternoon delights, or bring people en masse at midnight post-gig for a platter to share, I always leave in a daze of deliciousness.

Do yourself a massive flavour (I'm so sorry about that...maybe I should go to sundae school for being so cone-headed) and just go there. Right now! Please.

Disclaimer: Gelato is an addictive substance. It gives users somewhat of a high, but intervention is not ever recommended for those who have already sold their soul for the sweet, sweet creamin... Do not ever deny them what they need most. There is no way out for these people once the good stuff has passed their lips. Consult your local gelateria for more information.